I’m pretty sure I know what my biggest problem is: understanding. I understand almost everything that is going on, I know the solutions and I know that there are things that wont come easy at all.
In the past I was always keen on knowing&understanding everything, what went wrong in the past, whats going on in the present and what I’m supposed to do right now.
Well, I did that and big time. I was always Curious George, always wanting to know more and to get things done my way.
Since I went to the shrink a few years ago, I started reading a lot about getting to know and accept my past in orded to be ok and happy with myself. I maybe doing it too much.
I just think that for some people it might be easier to go around not knowing what exactly went wrong and cant be fixed. I just know I can accept what happened in my early years, I can be OK with it at some point but there are times when some problems reoccur and I know that the source its smth from the past that I cant resolve by myself.
It was better to walk around not knowing whats the cause of some of my problems. I know too much, I understand too much and feel too much of anything.
In the same time,there’s two good things that I think of: 1.I think someone with a bit of patience could help me get things straight for real. 2.I think that I might be able to get over some things at one point, Im still young so I cant so many things for now.
Its stupid saying this, I love my deep &artistic side but its kind of tiring to deal with it. or maybe i just dont have enough time to express everything that im feelin’ through creation so I hold it all inside.
well, going on with hope 
