For once i thought there is order there is silence. I thought the universe had its own balance and there was the time for it to be silent.
i thought your skin glowing in the dark meant something. I refuse to think that your eyes look better in the daylight. Your eyes change their colour when the sun goes down
the sun is down. the upside is down. the mirrors are down. there’s this too-loud-whisper of something so well-known that i feel like throwing up an getting my stomach and my gutts out. getting every piece of dust and hands dirty with mining, lovers crying waiting for their dreams to be fulfilled, kids running in circle just to stay focused and in shape, minds going in and out of consciousness.
nothing seems meaningful. seems everything. write me a poem, cry me a river, spit me your heart out and let me heal the wounds you’ve made. Blow me with every piece of blood that’s falling down my knee.. keep my hands above my wrist, above my head and above everything.
I could keep my soul up high but it feels so much better when u do it. Except you hands are dirty and you lost your gun. blood is flowing everywhere and your heart stopped beating at the sound of my whisper for help.
Stop crying your heart out, you say. stop breaking it in pieces and pretend to gather it from the floor. it’s still there, lying on a bed of rusty papers wet with gin.
Or your brain could stop at the the sound of the new car? Or shoulders could begin to tremble and stop playing? Or i could just say stop and not let myself get carried away by independence. i won’t repeat.
like crows rest their claws, like snakes eat their tongue filled with spicy pickles, like mothers feed their children and after start eating their toenails while sticking their fingers in their eyes while they are still blue. like your head falls down and your body freezes still believing that it’s there and it can work without it.
there is.. And i waited for the not. I got my not. i didn’t wait for it but i want to believe i wanted it. i didn’t. i thought there is.. but there is not.
